March 10, 2014

Ask for Help

Family and Friends!

Well, today was cambios! I'll be staying here in Collao and Hermana Call goes to Penco (where she'll be able to do mini cambios with Lirquen. Woohoo!) My new companion's name is Hermana Baturitè, who I already know really well, because she's been in my group and my zone for these last two cambios!! She is from Brazil and is honestly a very amazing person. Obviously I'm sad about losing Hna Call, and I'm going to miss her a lot, but I'm very excited to be with  Hermana Baturité. We're going to work very hard.

This week was an important one for me, for various reasons. Wednesday night as we were setting goals for the next day, I felt rather disappointed with our prospects and was suggesting very low goals- something not like me. Hermana Call listened for a moment and said "Is something wrong? This is weird for you..." and I realized she was right. Rather taken back, I tried to figure out why I had felt that way and what it was that was upsetting me, but nothing came to mind. I just felt really strange and unlike myself, and couldn't pinpoint anything. A thought crossed my mind that night as I was pondering and praying, "I could ask for a blessing." but I immediately ignored that, thinking "Nothing is even wrong, and I would feel dumb asking for a blessing when I know I'll pick myself up tomorrow and be ok. I'm the one that decides if I want to be happy, and I can fix my perspective to be ok again. I don't need to bother my leaders. "The next morning I sought in my study for answers, wondering if something was really wrong and needed to be fixed, or if I just needed to forget it and move on. I wasn't feeling an answer, and when Hermana Call went to the bathroom, I knelt to pray.

When she came back in the room and found me crying, we started talking. I expressed to her basically what I had thought the night before, and that I didn't know what the problem was but that I knew I could decide to get over it and just keep going. She looked at me like I was kind of crazy, and then just said "Remember what you said to Javiera in our lesson yesterday about grace. You have to your part, but you don't have to do everything yourself without asking for help." The next day was our Zone Conference with Elder Zeballos, from our Area Presidency. I went with all of this in mind, and the conference answered all of my questions, even the ones that I didn't know how to say.

I had it confirmed to me that I can't judge myself on a vision of what I will someday be- that is a fault I sometimes have. Shall we call it extreme optimism? I know that the Lord has given me so many opportunities and that He has such a great plan for me and each of us, and sometimes I judge myself with the view of what I will someday be. Honestly though, all the Lord wants for me is that I do the best I can right now and patiently work with others to become the person I need to be. Even if I'm doing well and seeking to help other people, I must never lose the vision that the gospel is also for ME. The resources of comfort and strength and guidance are always, and always will be, here for me. Even if I've reached a certain level of understanding of the Atonement, even if I'm able to deal with stress and manage myself in many situations, that does NOT mean that I don't need help from those around me and from my leaders. I've always been open and desirous to accept counsel, but I haven't always been good at asking for help, due to my desire not to be a burden to those who are already burdened enough.


My biggest miracle of the week was feeling the power of a personally solicited priesthood blessing- it changed everything for me. After the conference, I was going to ask my District Leader, Elder Layton, but when the time came I couldn't find him. I saw President over by the door, standing all alone, so I took a deep breath and grabbed Hermana Call and asked him if he had time to give me a blessing. We went into a back classroom and I explained my situation, and he asked me what conclusions I had felt from the Spirit during the conference, and I told him all that I had learned. Even though I felt infinitely better and felt that I knew what I needed to do and change, I still felt impressed that I should ask a blessing. He came back to me with another question- "How many times in your life have you asked for a blessing? " And I realized that I have never in my life actively sought a priesthood blessing.

I'd received them every year before school and one time when I was kinda stomach sick as a little girl, but that was more expectation and tradition.There was even another time in college when I went to ask one from my father, but he wasn't at work that day and so I just prayed and found an answer for myself. Looking back on my life and realizing that, I was shocked to find myself saying that I could not remember ever asking for a priesthood blessing. He reminded me that I must never resist the prompting to ask for a blessing, and I promised to make the change.

The blessing he gave me was very beautiful. He promised that I'd be capable of asking help from those around me, that I would be able to discern the discouraging thoughts and temptations that come from Satan, that I would be strengthened as a Sister Training Leader, and many other things. I think these cambios with Hermana Call have been all about overcoming my stubbornness and pride, and this was yet another step with that- I needed to learn to ask for help when I need it, even if I think that others need it more, or that I don`t want to be a bother, or that I'm not really that bad... etc. Excuses. It is a work in process and I know that God isn't finished with me yet- nor is He with any of you.

I wish I had time to tell you about Fernanda- she is awesome. I love each of you so much and I pray for you each day-

Yours!
Hermana Oldroyd





Taught the Young Women how to make brownies. One of them even brought a friend that isn't a member! Can you say `Biggest Mutual activity of the Year?` I love those YW so much!!




Came home at the end of PDay and stuck my bombachos in the wash. Left the kitchen, came back two minutes later, and what do you think I saw? Oh boy, one of the hoses had come loose and our carpet was soaked with green water. THAT was a fun clean up job.










Lucas



Companion date with burritos and guacamole and an old mission video. Kind of crazy seeing pictures from our very first zones! Fun times

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