Repentence

Here we are again, my dear family and friends-

 

Forgive me if this email is missing some `o`s. The keyboard is a bit sticky. A better week for us- we taught a lot of lessons and brought a lot of members with us. I do love this ward very much! Perhaps I could relate the big climax experience of the week to illustrate several principles: How great our ward is. How many different plans and backup plans we have as missionaries. How, even with those plans, sometimes everything just dissolves into chaos!

Lunch with the fabulous ward members

Hermana Peterson started feeling sick at the beginning of the week, but we went out to work like normal. Finally, Thursday afternon, we called the office and asked if there was a medication she should be taking or something to help her get over a pretty bad chest cold/flu. The elders bought her some medication and brought it to us, and Hermana Mena and I worked out a quick mini-cambio situation so that we could get to all of our sitas. I called several people to change a few things, and we thought everything was covered. (Foreshadowing, anyone?) She left with Hna Mendoza to work, and I stayed and organized our Area Book while Hna Peterson slept. The Hermanas returned, and I left with Hna Mena and Saria Cortez, a soon-to-be missionary, to our first sita. That went well, but a little long. Right after that sita, I got a frustrated phone call from someone who hadn´t gotten the message that we´d have to change the sita with him. Tried to explain the situation, but he was still frustrated. 

Next, we´d arranged to have Alexys and Tatyana, (Our EQ president and his wife) come with us to visit Henri. Before we knew about the mini cambio situation, Tatyana had told us she wouldn´t be able to come because of a work meeting, so we´d called Hna Luka to come with us as well. (When we visit single men, we need another woman with us.) After this first sita, we gave Saria the option to accompany us to Henri as well if she´d like, and she decided to stay with us. We went to pick up Alexys, and found out that Tatyana´s meeting had been canceled, and she was also going to come. I quickly called Hna Luka, briefly explained that she didn´t have to come if she had other things to do, but she said she´d still like to come. Went by her house to pick her up, and out she came, hand in hand with her granddaughter. We literally had five members with us in our lesson with Henri- Elders Quorum, Relief Society, future missionary, and the Primary. Wow.
 

I´ve been fighting with my self-perspective a bit this week. There are just so many things I want to fix and improve as a missionary! It is ironic, because I know I can´t really be effective if I´m focusing on myself and my weaknesses rather than on the spirit and how to effectively serve those that I teach. Had a couple really good moments of studying and pondering repentance. We´re reading the Book of Mormn as a mission before our new president comes, and we´re in Alma right now. This morning I was in chapter 13, which begins rather repetetively, actually. I was reading, marking, the usual, when finally by verses 10-13 I realized that I should probably pause a moment and internalize what it was saying. 

View from our window each morning

As I thought this week, I realized that I haven´t had very many definitive experiences with repentance in my life. Crimes of omission? All the time. Always praying for help with little things like study habits, attitude of service, etc. etc. But times when I´ve felt real guilt? Pondering that, I could think of only three- one as I was preparing for the mission and didn´t consistently follow a prompting I´d received, and two on the mission when I chose to spend the Lord´s mission time with activities that I knew weren´t really productive.

 I´m not trying to confess to you all, so I hope you´ll forgive me for being a bit personal and explaining that to you. I bring it up because as I thought about my feelings this week and all my desires to be better, to be new, to be more what the Lord wants me to be, I realized how key repentance really is in our life process. I thought of the people I´m teaching- those who haven´t always had a loving, supportive family, a good social environment, and a gospel upbringing. The longer I´m here on the mission, the more i realize that the world is in a state of desperate need for the gospel. This week I also encountered the most miserable human being I have ever seen in my life- Ana Maria. She drinks, smokes, is bulemic, has cancer, lives alone, one of her daughters called her to ask her for money while we were visiting her, her other daughter is living with an abusive partner, and I think her water got shut off this week. The state of her mind wasn´t stable, and she rambled and sobbed while we were there, saying "Just talk with me. I´m so lonely." This world needs the gospel. She needed it, and once again I found myself crying after a visit as wondered if she was even physically capable of accepting and understanding it. 
 

Though I´ll struggle sometimes with my self-satisfaction as a missionary, it was a priceless gift this week that I could take a couple days to really think about the blessing of repentance and the power of the Lord´s Atonement to help us overcome all types of trials. Whether I´ve been less than perfect as a missionary, whether someone else has lived a lifetime of misery, repentance is real and has real power to heal. It is just a matter of humility- when we turn to the Lord and accept His uplifting sacrifice, we become free of burdens and may work with Him to reach the divine potential we each have. I´m trying to put this into practice for myself- obviously, not doing it perfectly yet, but that just brings us back to repentance, doesn´t it?

Love you all so much. Hang in there with all!!

yours, 

Hermana Oldroyd

 

Sergio, one of our favorite waiters at Rincon Marino. Have I mentioned that we eat at a nice restaurant once a week? The owners are members and we love love love it